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15 February 2013 @ 10:31 pm
Valentine's Day Round-Up  
Look, this is full of angst, so skip if you want. Also, I know I owe you all like comments and shit. I promise, I'll get around to it. I'm the worst LJ friend ever. Forgive me?

Valentine's Day pisses me off. Like, I know it's this day that everyone is like, "oh, be thankful for the people who love you. Show them you care." Yada fucking yada. I have people in my life who love me and people that I love. Obviously. But, we all know, Valentine's Day is about that someone special, right?

I fucking hate Valentine's Day. And yeah, I know it was yesterday. Just, give me this, would you?

In my 31 years on this effin' planet, I have been in one - count it, ONE - relationship on Valentine's Day. We had been together for a little over three months and we had plans. He lived like an hour away, so we didn't see each other all the time, but we made plans. He'd drive over, we'd exchange presents, have dinner out and then... well... fuck like bunnies. Let's be honest, that's what was going to happen.

Anyway, he drove over, as planned. And we sat down to exchange gifts. He handed me 10 Things I Hate About You on DVD, not wrapped, and said, "Here you go."

That totes should have been my first clue, right? Like, right?! No, I was too fucking smitten. So, I hand him his gift. I had spent the whole night before wrapping it special. I wrapped it in silver paper and cut out red and pink hearts from other paper and taped it on and wrapped a giant-ass red bow around it. It was a long-sleeved MSU shirt that he'd been drooling over for like two months. It was awesome.

And then I attached the best card ever. And I finally wrote "I Love You" on the inside. We'd been together for three months and neither one of us had said it yet, but I felt it, you know? So, I was making this romantic gesture and just wrote it. It was easier than saying it out loud, because I was nervous. I'd never been in love before.

-_-

You know where this is going, don't you? Yeah, he opened the gift first - of course he did - did some like ridiculous fist pump and said, "Wow, thanks!" I was like, "this is gold." And then he opened the card.

No one ever wants to tell someone they love them (even if it's written) and then get the sympathy smile, but damn, that's so what I got. The sympathy smile, a half hug and a "Thanks."

Then he broke up with me.

On mother fucking Valentine's Day.

*shakes head*

I'm severely damaged. This was like nine years ago. Why can't I just fucking get over it? And the worst part... I just let it fuck with me every year and then I deal with it's aftermath for like another week.

To add insult to injury, my brother and dad went out of their way to get my sister, my mom and my daughter something for Valentine's Day this year. Each hand delivered (Gracie to school and my sister and moms to work) and nothing for me. You know, I wouldn't feel so bad about it if it had been like just my mom or something, but no. I was literally the only one in the family that spent the entire day just praying that this year wouldn't be as bad as the past. But. *shrug*

Such is life, right?

Fuck. I'm ending this now. You guys think I'm pathetic now. As you should. G'night.
 
 
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
 
 
 
Heather: MS - GLOMPprplhez8 on February 16th, 2013 01:30 pm (UTC)
Shit. I meant to comment on this last night.

But firstly, time for some real talk:

You're not pathetic.

Secondly, you're the bees knees.

I mean what I say when I say that. You're awesome. You're a single mom who, somehow, is making it in this world.

And if some dunderheaded fool can't see your level of awesome....well, dude, would you WANT someone like that? Noper.

Your guy will come along when you least expect it. And you know what? He's out there waiting for you, too.

*HUUUUUUUUUGS*
Gigigiselleslash on February 16th, 2013 02:39 pm (UTC)
Lady, you are so not pathetic. Valentines Day fucking sucks for a lot of people and it's totally not your fault that some dick spoiled it for you. *hugs*
I MUSTsabriel75 on February 16th, 2013 04:11 pm (UTC)
In no way do you even remotely resemble those words. Brave. Thoughtful. Sensitive. Determined. Strong. Now these words make sense in relation to you.

Also, what is WRONG with your dad?! When is he going to realize how mean it is to pull stunts like this?!

Valentine's Day cannot be summed up positively for most people, if they're being truthful. It's a holiday full of hits and misses. What am I saying?! Most holidays that require being intuitive and showing love and revealing our emotional sides comes up a lot on the worst for wear end of things. Holidays just all around suck.

You know I adore you! xoxo :)
Ashley LPalilypea on February 17th, 2013 12:03 am (UTC)
I hate to tell you this, but I don't think you're pathetic so you're deeply incorrect there.

These things, as little as they may seem on a grand scale to anyone else are deeply personal and hurtful to us. I have a similar experience and it seems so easy to let go but it's always easier said than done.